I used to be quite a fragile character, some would say that I was even scared of my own shadow. I was always paranoid that people were talking about me and laughing behind my back.

So why was I like this? Well it was mainly because, in my opinion, I had a stutter. It started when I was aged four and despite attending various forms of stop stammering therapy I was unable to find the solution which would enable me to achieve fluency.

I decided that enough was enough by my mid-twenties and decided it was time to toughen up. I could not continue to live my life as I had been, as I would probably be dead by the time I was fifty.

I then went about a self-help program to increase my overall self-confidence and self-esteem. I was extremely keen to discover the secrets to happiness; to achieve fluency and of ways to deal with my depression.

What I found out over the next twelve to eighteen months would change my life forever.

These are the things I had to do:

The self-pity was something that had to end. Yes I am not perfect but who is.

I had to think in a more positive way. This was something I had somehow learnt to do in my business life where I work for a company that offers a medical negligence claims service but I had never managed to do it in my personal life.
 
I had to stop worrying about the future.

I needed to become a much more care-free person – I was at that stage far too concerned about what other people thought of me.

I needed to smile more.

I needed to learn to relax. Over the last few months I have been using meditation to help me with this.

I had to learn to like myself.

I needed to become stronger to fight away the negative thoughts in my head.

I realised that I needed to concentrate on the positive aspects of my life rather than wallowing in the self-pity of thinking about what I believed I did not have in life.

I started to implement the above and it helped me no end. The depression that plagued my earlier life still came back to haunt me around once a month. When it does descend, I now write two lists. What I am happy about in life and what I am sad or worrying about. I then analyse both lists and more times than not, I am actually over-reacting.

I am now a much more positive person and this is having a good affect on my business life where I now work for a ”Asda voucher codes” company and I also offer a DVD duplication service.

I wish you every success with your efforts to gain in self-confidence.

I have never been able to have a life which was free from anxiety and worry. I worry about almost every aspect of life and living this way has caused me a lot of problems including various bouts of ill health from time to time. I needed to find a way of coping with and reducing the amount of stress in my life and in this article I write about how I have managed to achieve this.

So what do I stress about? Well I suppose it is anything and everything. Women and my relationships with them; my financial position – having a lack of money and worrying about how I am going to be able to pay the bills etc. I also have anxiety over my career and my personal friendships. For whatever reason I also used to worry about what other people thought of me.

I am the kind of person who is classed as a thinker. I basically think far too much about personal matters. This thinking is very much in a negative manner and is a cycle which I have found hard to break.

About a year ago I was invited to appear on a national radio show to talk about my occupation which is providing an affordable DVD duplication service and offering Mobile Phone Voucher Codes, and also strangely enough helping an organisation to do with training for foster carers. I was due to talk live on this radio program at around 2pm. All morning as was my way of course, I was thinking and worrying about how I would come across to other people. I was afraid that I would make a fool of myself and would sound like a bit of an idiot. I also, for whatever reason, started to stress about whether I would be able to remember, under the amount of pressure that I was likely be under, the important aspects of my occupation which people would be interested in.

I was getting myself into a bit of a state and even thought about phoning up to cancel the interview. I then called up a good friend of mine who has always provided me with sound advice. I explained about the radio show and about my fears. He stated that I needed to relax and to even look forward to the experience. It would, he continued, be a chance to promote my own services and therefore was something to be grateful for.

He advised me that what I needed to do was to keep myself busy. If I am very busy, I would not have any time to think in my usual negative way. He stated that he believed that I needed to find things that would occupy my mind. He thought that I was spending the majority of the time stressing about this and that. If however I had a much busier life then I would not have so much time to think in this manner.

This is something I had realised a few years before but had in truth not acted on. I thought about what my friend had said and then decided to get stuck into some much needed gardening. Have a guess what? I managed to do very well on the radio; I even enjoyed it.

In my late teens I was far to over-weight and was not happy about it. I often thought about the different ways in which I could try to become slimmer, but that is all I would do, think.

I suppose that I was obese due to the fact that I comfort ate because I had a stutter. The stuttering treatment on offer was not working and I could just see no prospect of me to ever stop stuttering.

These are the reasons I would make at that stage of my life, to put off my attempts at losing weight:

I am too tired. In the morning, I would wake up with very good intentions. In my mind I would make a vow that I would make a start on the fitness work after I had returned home from work – this would start with a run around my local area for a few miles. It will then be a case of some weight training – oh yes I do love pumping some iron and I have no doubt that I will be hitting some new personal bests later on. Then there would be the many rounds of press ups and I would most certainly stay away from those nasty fatty foods which are causing me so much heartache.

After work, I would return home and would then make up the excuse that I am too tired. Instead of going for a jog today, I would start my fitness regime tomorrow etc. Working for a composite door company, selling cheap holidays, was far from easy and I would come home very tired. This is perhaps one reason why I now work for a group of DVD duplication experts lol.

My body is aching. This was a regular excuse. I would tell myself that if I start exercising today, I may well do myself more damage than good.

It could be dangerous. Going back to my idea of jogging, I then had the bright idea that it could actually be quite risky. I could bump into a murderer or a rapist who could then in turn end up killing me?

I eventually after many years decided to stop making up these excuses. I had to be determined to not only start up a fitness regime but to stick to it. It was not easy at all but after quite a long time I reached a weight which I was happy with.