The best way to help an alcoholic is indirectly. This means that you do not try to control or manipulate them. Don’t make feeble pleas with them to miraculously stop drinking. Do not threaten them or shame them or engage with angry arguments with them. None of these strategies really work at all. At best these ploys will create false hope before they fail to work. At worst they create more chaos and despair for the drunk in question. If you are at this point then you probably want to know how can I help an alcoholic?

The first thing you need to know is that an alcoholic who tries to change for other people is not going to make it in recovery. What you must understand is that the choice has to be theirs. You and other people in their life can’t make this choice for them. Not you, not a jail cell, not their parents, nobody.

The second idea for you to grasp is that this decision that will eventually be made by the alcoholic will be motivated by pain. Ultimately this is how it has to go. The alcoholic will finally decide that they have had enough pain and misery in their life and decide it is time for change. This is the only driving force that makes real change. You can promise them the whole world if they stop drinking but this will not produce any different results. The motivation has to come from pain and fear and misery.

Given both of these concepts, you can probably tell where this is headed. The most important thing for you to concentrate on in attempting to help an alcoholic is that you should never try to deny the alcoholic of their pain. The alcoholic is trapped in a cycle and experiencing pain and misery on a regular basis and your job is to step out of the way and let them endure that pain. For example, if an alcoholic gets loaded on the weekends and can’t make it to work on Monday morning, they might lose their job. Let them lose it. Do not attempt to cover for them or help them to keep their life held together. This is a part of their natural consequences and you should not deprive them of it. Doing so will keep them drinking. Let them experience their misery and they just might find recovery in the future. This is probably the best way to really help an alcoholic.

Alcohol addiction is a condition that disrupts every area of a person’s life. The drunk suffers in more ways than one due to their drinking habits….they also are suffering from a mental, social, and spiritual handicap at this point. Their entire life is adversely affected by the disease. Jobs are lost. Relationships are out of whack. People drop out of school, lose touch with their good friends, and so on. In short, alcoholism affects everything.

In many of these instances, alcoholism is taking things away from the individual. Any sense of spirituality is stripped away and replaced by the booze. Whatever used to provide entertainment and genuine value for the alcoholic was eventually replaced with drinking. In short, alcoholism becomes the answer for every event in the alcoholic’s life, and it is the cure for any ailment. It becomes the spiritual savior and the emotional balance mechanism.

So when someone tries to stop drinking, the task at hand is so much more than just quitting drinking. The task at hand is to completely recreate the entire life that was once ruled by drinking. Not only this, but also in seeking out a new way to live that can give us purpose that the booze used to provide for us, such as by how we dealt with our emotions.

The key to doing this is in creation.

In traditional recovery, such as with a 12 step program, there is a focus on creative efforts. The alcoholic is encouraged to progress through 12 steps in order to create a spiritual connection with a higher power and thus overcome their drinking. This is an act of creation, though I would argue that is too narrow of a focus. The reason for this is because the disease is more than just spiritual….It is also spiritual, physical, mental, and so on. So the answer should be comprehensive and needs to consider the whole alcoholic and every area of their lives, not just the spiritual.

So the answer for achieving sobriety is in making a purposeful life for yourself in these different areas. That is the holistic approach to recovery and when you follow it and attempt to grow in several areas then you will be involved in the act of creation. This then is the ultimate secret of overcoming alcohol addiction.

So you want to know how to help an alcoholic without enabling them?

Of course we try our best to assist an alcoholic, but most of the time our help will actually hurt them instead because it does not move them any closer to surrender. So how can we know how to avoid enabling? How do we know when we are genuinely helping someone?

Here are some strategies that might serve you well:

1) Do not give them money – This is an easy rule that cuts right to the chase. Alcoholics need money in order to drink, but you should never give them money, even if they need to feed their children. This can sound really bad for a moment but try to comprehend for a moment how devious and coniving alcoholism can be. They might have already spent their money on booze, knowing that someone would step in and not let their children go hungry. So if you happen to have given them money then instead of helping the family or feeding the kids you are merely supporting an alcohol addiction. Don’t be deceived by this.

2) Suggest treatment but do not threaten or force them – if you try to force the issue this will only create resentment and more drinking. People who are forced or strongly coerced into treatment do not stay sober. They really have to want sobriety in their heart so your best route in most cases is just to notify them that treatment is open to them if they become willing.

3) Consider a formal intervention – think long and hard before doing a formal intervention because there is a chance that it can backfire and strain the relationship even further. That is why this is really a last ditch effort, because sometimes the intervention can make things worse instead of better. On the contrary, going forward with the intervention might be that final push that is necessary to motivate the person to make a lasting change. More likely, an intervention is a step along a path….it might not produce immediate sobriety, but it could be a piece of the puzzle for some people.

If you have decided that you want to go beyond merely trying to control your drinking then it is time to make a decision and attempt to quit drinking entirely. Now this might sound like a death sentence at first but it really is not so bad once you get past the initial detox and start living a real life again.

Please note that the physical detoxification from alcohol is extremely dangerous and can actually be fatal, so do seek out medical supervision if you are serious about quitting drinking. It is actually safer to continue drinking alcohol than to go through a serious withdrawal from it because the withdrawal can produce life threatening seizures.

If you are serious about quitting drinking altogether then one of the best choices you can make is to go attend a local rehab in your area. There are numerous benefits to going to a treatment facility

1) A detox center with medical staff

2) Residential program – to learn about recovery

3) Peer support – in treatment you will have the support of a peer group with similar problems and goals as yourself

4) Professional help – therapists and counselors can give you guidance

5) Medical help – doctors might prescribe certain pills that can help with cravings or long term withdrawal symptoms, etc.)

6) Aftercare – the treatment center can provide you with additional programs and tools for after you leave to help you out in the “real world”.

So do consider treatment if you are truly want to stop drinking.

An option for anyone who is hesitating on quitting drinking can always try some more moderation and see how that works for them too. There is no rule against doing so but you must exercise extreme caution while doing so. But be honest with yourself about how well the moderation strategy is working for you. If you can stop your drinking for a week or two then this does not prove much for you. If you can limit your drinking without going overboard for a full year then that is quite good.

There is a lot to learn regarding sobriety and if you truly want to change your life then you should do whatever you can to learn more as the payoff is really tremendous.

There are several good reasons to get involved with addiction therapy sessions and I’m going to explain some of them.

The first step is to actually admit that we have a problem and come to grips with the idea that we need some help. Once we have reached that conclusion it is time to take action. At this point I would recommend finding a good therapist. I would recommend that you seek out a therapist that makes you want to open up naturally with them.

Once you have achieved this I would say that in the beginning you should go to drug addiction therapy at least once per week. Make a decision that you are going to stay on schedule and never miss an appointment for your therapy sessions. It will take you a little while to get real comfortable so start slow if you would like, the choice is yours. You might open up with a therapist and share something that has been buried deep inside you for years that really needs to come out.

After you do this then you will experience some level of relief. I would say on your next session to share something bigger. For example, maybe you cheated on your spouse and you never owned up to it to this day.  
After you reveal a secret that has been burning away at you then you will feel some relief, like maybe you are not so bad after all, and then you might be able to face life sober some day. When I was in therapy sessions I was given certain tasks to complete such as opening up at a 12 step meeting that week. I might not do so at the next meeting I had but eventually I would work up the courage to do so. This seems to be true for many recovering addicts and alcoholics.

Anyway I did eventually share at a meeting and this made me feel comfortable and I will never forget the fear that was there. This is the path to success in recovery – we must feel the fear and go through with it anyway.
Once we sober up we are graced with the possibility of staying in recovery and discovering a new way of living. Maybe you would like to improve your career or go back to school, start exercising regularly there is nothing you can not do once you are clean that is within limits. I would urge you to make a firm decision and start working towards this new reality today. So get busy and take a bite out of your addiction.

Not to mislead anyone – it can be extremely difficult for a real alcoholic to find sobriety.If you are seriously addicted to alcohol and not just someone with a drinking problem then this can be very difficult indeed. Here is the recommended course of action for any alcoholic who truly wants to stop.

First, you must make the decision to stop drinking for good.While this might be obvious, many people who try to get clean and sober will suddenly realize that they really did not have their mind set on it in the first place. A lot of times people will try to get sober for someone else, and this just doesn’t work. The motivation to stop drinking has to come from the individual, and it has to be very strong.

Second of all, I would highly recommend a medical detox facility. Quitting drinking can be quite dangerous and in fact it can be fatal if you do it unsupervised.Best if you can get help from a trained medical staff to see you through this safely.

Third, I would advise you to attend a short residential program after being fulled detoxed.Attending a treatment program like this can have a bunch of additional bonuses:

1) You will have a safe environment to be sober for a while without any temptation.

2) You’ll learn all about living life sober and the basic mechanics of recovery through groups and presentations in treatment.

3) You’ll meet others in recovery who can become part of your support network for after treatment.

4) You will be exposed to AA and NA meetings and be introduced to the 12 steps and learn about how this can help you in recovery.

5) You will get a counselor who will work with you directly in helping you to overcome your personal issues that might have led you to drink.

6) The treatment center will set you up with an exit plan for leaving treatment where you can get some form of continuing care after you leave.

Treatment can be expensive in some cases but the cost is easily minimized if you manage to stay sober in the long run.Another way to put it is that the cost you pay up front, even if it is quite steep, is well worth the payoff if you actually remain sober. 

To sum up, here are the 3 tasks ahead of you if you are serious about quitting:

1) Make a decision to learn how to stop drinking.

2) Find a rehab that can help you with detoxification.

3) Get checked into a treatment center and stay open to the help they try to give you.

How can you determine if you have an addiction to alcohol?

To anyone who is not struggling with alcoholism, such a question might seem bizarre because they think the answer should be obvious. This can really be a tricky situation for some people, especially if you are still in the phase of drinking where you still have fun with it but at the same time you get into trouble sometimes.

In some cases, there are alcoholics who will go weeks or months at a time without drinking, but when they do drink, they tend to binge. So this could be tricky to diagnose by yourself, because the binge drinker often goes for long periods of time without having any problems at all.  In such cases the person might not realize that they should in fact stop drinking.

So how can you know for sure? Here are a couple of suggestions:

1) Try some controlled drinking. Set a limit on yourself that you can only have 1 drink per day, max. Keep this up for at least 12 months continuous.

2) Self diagnosis. This is the only way. Others cannot diagnose you with an alcohol problem. You must accept this reality for your own self. Admitting it is not enough. You will need to come to full acceptance of your condition without any reservation about it.

3) Consider this statement: “I didn’t get into trouble every time I drank, but every time I got into trouble, I had been drinking.” Is that true for you? If so then that is a huge indicator that you might be alcoholic.

4) Consider this statement: “When I control my drinking, I don’t have any fun. When I have fun with my drinking, I tend to lose control.” Another large indication if this sounds true for you.

So go through those suggestions and give them some thought. Try to control your drinking for a set period of time (the longer the better) and pay attention to how it makes you feel when you limit your alcohol intake.  If you come to the conclusion that something needs to change then you might want to start exploring how to stop drinking.

Getting addiction help will involve contacting either professional services of some sort or a 12 step treatment program. That is what is available out there when it comes to getting help for addiction. These professional treatment services could include a stay at a drug rehab center with a medical detoxification unit as well. In addition to rehab, an addict could also seek help from meetings, therapy groups, or from professional counseling.

Many people might use these types of services after they leave treatment as a form of aftercare.

It can be quite a struggle to get someone else to take action and do something about their problem and ultimately you will find that we cannot really change anyone, only ourselves. However, we can affect their choices in the long run by being more careful about how we behave around them.

In particular, we need to stop enabling people if we play some role in their drug or alcohol use. This includes helping them out when they get into trouble or calling in sick for them if they miss work due to their drug use. We can make a big difference in the addict’s life by choosing not to enable their drinking or using.

Unfortunately this is what has to happen in order for some drug addicts to become open to the idea of change. If an addict does not experience misery in their life then they will not be likely to make a decision to do anything different. So we eventually realize in dealing with an addict that it is best not to deny them of their pain. This does not mean that we need to go out of our way to trip them up or be mean to them – instead we just have to get out of their way and let them endure the natural consequences of their actions.

Giving genuine help to an addict is sometimes difficult because many times when we think we are helping them we are actually enabling them. The key is to help them only when they agree to seek professional help for their addiction and not give in to other attempts that are merely manipulation on their part. We can always do things that affect the drug addict but it might not have an immediate result that we can see. Instead we have to do our part in the relationship as far as no longer rescuing them in any way.