Approximately five months ago I had dinner with a thirty-five-year-old male named Alexander who suffers from acute depression, has relationship issues, and who is drug and alcohol dependent. As explained by Alexander, it is his alcoholism and drug addiction and his severe depression that had the most to do with his continual relationship issues.

I recall hearing that a history of mental health issues, chemical dependency, and unhealthy and abusive drinking routinely take place in the same family. What is more, I remember hearing that in such situations, a person needs to get treatment for both medical conditions and that addiction and mental health problems many times occur in the same person.

As affirmed by Alexander, he is so overwhelmed by his relationship difficulties and by both of his medical conditions that he basically has little or no drive to do much of anything. What is especially unfortunate about this is that earlier in his life, Alexander managed to finish four semesters of graduate school in criminology.

Alexander’s condition makes me question if he is an illustration of a person who can look in the mirror and see his drug abuse and alcohol drinking problems and do something healthy about these difficulties or if he is a person who has to hit life’s bottom before he gets drug and alcohol dependency counseling that results in long lasting sobriety.

The Need For a Counseling Protocol He Can Believe In and a Physician He Can Trust

If it would be beneficial I would assume that I could recommend more than a few blogs and websites that could possibly help him learn more about drug abuse symptoms, the stages of alcoholism, substance abuse information, and relationship problems. In my humble opinion, however, Alexander needs to find a treatment protocol he can believe in and follow over the long term and find a therapist he can trust.

I could be mistaken but it seems to me that Alexander more likely than not needs to look in the mirror regarding his drug addiction signs and alcoholic symptoms and understand the fact that he cannot abuse drugs or even drink responsibly if he wants to get sober, stay sober, and start on the path to long-term recovery.

It may be asked how therapy would help his drug and alcohol dependency. For starters, there are quite a few newly produced doctor-prescribed medications that can help Alexander through his withdrawal symptoms, through the alcohol and alcohol detoxification process, and help him avoid a drug or an alcohol relapse.

Second, Alexander would learn to acknowledge the fact that there is entirely nothing productive about substance abuse and excessive and careless drinking and that messing around with one or both conditions is the road to legal problems, shattered relationships, financial difficulties, a premature death, deteriorating health, and poor work and school performance.

Third, treatment for his relationship difficulties and his depression might help him manage these mental health problems more effectively and perhaps create less of a need for him to engage in addictive behavior.

The Relevance of Support Groups Like Narcotics Anonymous and Alcoholics Anonymous

There are feasibly numerous friends, other individuals, and family members who would like to help Alexander with his drug abuse and his excessive and abusive drinking. He probably would experience greater sympathy from a recovery group such as Narcotics Anonymous or Alcoholics Anonymous, however, instead of getting guidance from individuals who do not drink or who have never taken drugs.

When Individuals Accomplish Things They Like and About Which They Are Zealous

There’s a philosophical viewpoint that proclaims that individuals who do things they like and something about which they are dedicated arrive at an astonishing place in life. Stated more exactly, when people do what they enjoy, they hardly ever experience an uneventful life or boredom. If they get involved in something that is worthwhile, furthermore, they become more complete and experience more pleasure and joy in life and in their relationships.

When this is examined in more detail it becomes apparent that this positive perspective is the exact opposite of a life that is rooted in drug and alcohol addiction because such a lifestyle removes the satisfaction and joy that life has to offer.

Since Alexander lacks the determination to carry out much of anything in his life, it is apparent that he desperately needs some hope for a healthier existence. And the sad thing is that hope is all around Alexander if he could only get to the place in life to get the counseling he requires for his acute depression and alcoholism and drug addiction and remain in his treatment protocol.

More Positive Relationships, A Wonderful Life, Self Respect, and Productive Change Are Possibilities

Alexander is simply too young to be defeated in life. He doesn’t realize this right now but if he can learn how to abstain from drugs and alcohol through alcohol and drug rehabilitation and get the counseling he needs for his severe depression, he can turn his life around and start living with direction, self-respect, and passion.

More solid relationships, beneficial change, self respect, and a wonderful life are certainly possibilities for Alexander if only he could become inspired to get the professional rehab he requires, follow through with his therapy regimen, live his life in an addiction-free and healthy manner, and learn how to cultivate a more positive attitude about life.

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The best way to help an alcoholic is indirectly. This means that you do not try to control or manipulate them. Don’t make feeble pleas with them to miraculously stop drinking. Do not threaten them or shame them or engage with angry arguments with them. None of these strategies really work at all. At best these ploys will create false hope before they fail to work. At worst they create more chaos and despair for the drunk in question. If you are at this point then you probably want to know how can I help an alcoholic?

The first thing you need to know is that an alcoholic who tries to change for other people is not going to make it in recovery. What you must understand is that the choice has to be theirs. You and other people in their life can’t make this choice for them. Not you, not a jail cell, not their parents, nobody.

The second idea for you to grasp is that this decision that will eventually be made by the alcoholic will be motivated by pain. Ultimately this is how it has to go. The alcoholic will finally decide that they have had enough pain and misery in their life and decide it is time for change. This is the only driving force that makes real change. You can promise them the whole world if they stop drinking but this will not produce any different results. The motivation has to come from pain and fear and misery.

Given both of these concepts, you can probably tell where this is headed. The most important thing for you to concentrate on in attempting to help an alcoholic is that you should never try to deny the alcoholic of their pain. The alcoholic is trapped in a cycle and experiencing pain and misery on a regular basis and your job is to step out of the way and let them endure that pain. For example, if an alcoholic gets loaded on the weekends and can’t make it to work on Monday morning, they might lose their job. Let them lose it. Do not attempt to cover for them or help them to keep their life held together. This is a part of their natural consequences and you should not deprive them of it. Doing so will keep them drinking. Let them experience their misery and they just might find recovery in the future. This is probably the best way to really help an alcoholic.

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There are a lot of alcoholics and addicts who keep screwing up in recovery and then return to their AA meetings, completely confused about how they can not “get it.” They believe that they are missing out on the secret to staying clean and sober, when in fact they are just screwing up whatever program it is they are trying to work in their lives. It is not lack of wisdom that causes relapse, but rather a lack of application.

Addiction help comes to those who seek it. If  you want to know how to stop drinking it is not going to happen if you are sitting at home on the couch and trying to wish your problem away. There are a bunch of different programs out there for staying clean and sober but the most popular one is AA and NA. Regardless of which program you follow, the key is in taking action.

None of the recovery programs out there are special or have the secret sauce that the other programs are lacking–it doesn’t work that way. If you are wondering how to help an alcoholic or addict then the key is in applying a program; not in choosing one. The secret is in the follow through. You have to put forth the work and the effort if you want to receive the benefits.

One of the biggest keys is in finding a way to connect with others in early recovery. Many will do this and still relapse, but the support you get from networking with others in recovery cannot be denied. If you want to do well in recovery then you should understand the importance of peer support from others who are trying to accomplish the same basic goal as you are. Whether or not you believe in the 12 step program is irrelevant because anyone can benefit from the peer support you can get from that fellowship.

So this process of making friends in recovery is crucial for new people in early recovery but as you go further along then a change needs to happen. The reason for this is because what got you clean and sober will not keep you clean and sober. The strategies you employ for early recovery are only useful up to a point and then you will have to make a change to pushing yourself for holistic growth. If you can do this then eventually you will transition to a creative life of recovery in which you are no longer dependent on meetings.

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How can we give addiction help to addicts who are struggling with addiction?

The real secret to this lies in empowering the drug addict to take control of their own life. In what way can we do that? It can be a hard truth to accept, but we can’t really convince another person to change, no matter how much we desire for them to be clean. Some addicts are not real willing to do that and so it can be hard to give them any sort of assistance in making a change.

The first thing you will want to do when trying to help an addict is to examine your own behavior. Are you allowing them to continue their destructive habits or behaviors in any way? If so, then you need to change your own behavior first, so that you are not sabotaging their recovery efforts. For example, if their drug use lands them in jail, and you automatically bail them out of jail, then you are probably enabling them. How? Because you are not allowing them to experience the natural outcomes of their destructive behaviors.

If you are rescuing them from the natural process of their destructive habits, then in fact you are not assisting them but could actually be prolonging their addiction. Another situation might be when they are at a party all night and get completely wasted and you end up covering their bases for them by calling off at their job. Doing things such as this might seem helpful at first, but you are actually enabling them to continue to use drugs. If they are really going to make any sort of major change in their using behavior then they will have to go through some pain initially in order to motivate that change.

The moment of surrender is when the addict is willing to accept help on someone else’s terms. This is how you know when they are truly ready for change and are no longer just manipulating and playing games. When they ask you for help in the form of guidance and direction about how to live, then you know they are ready for real change.

Getting the addict to this point is not easy and there isn’t much that you can do that will directly push them towards the point of surrender. The important part is that you no longer enable the addict and therefore allow them to hit bottom. The less frequently that you try to intervene and save their skin the faster they will be driven to real change.

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For the true alcoholic, the idea that they can just stop drinking is no light matter. Given that there are a number of different methods to stop, which are most effective in most cases?

1) Willpower – This is essentially the same as not using any technique at all, but only relying on one’s own willpower to avoid picking up another drink. Of course this has been attempted by numerous drunks over the years and time and time again we prove to ourselves that we cannot quit successfully without serious help. Ever.

2) AVRT – this stands for “Addictive Voice Recognition Technique,” so this is essentially an example of a cognitive therapy for quitting drinking. The idea here is to recognize when your “addictive voice” is speaking and recognize it as being “your addiction” instead of the real you. Then you are able to tell this addictive voice that you do not want to drink when it starts to get active with you.

There are other therapies out there that are similar to this, each with the concept that we can change up our thinking in order to change our behavior. Some of us in sobriety can likely do well by using cognitive tools such as this, but for most alcoholics we will probably need to expand our solution set beyond these therapies by themselves and seek more help.

3) AA – Twelve step programs are probably the most widespread solution for alcoholism, and because of this, they offer the most amount of hope and the most realistic solution for most people in most situations. But there are problems and limitations with AA as a solution as well. For starters–while it is very hard to prove statistics regarding this fellowship–the rate of sobriety in 12 step programs likely runs around the rate of 5 to 10 percent. To be fair, though, no other treatment method seems to offer substantially better numbers than this, and AA certainly has helped a lot of those who wanted to know how to stop drinking.

It is not that Alcoholics Anonymous is not a good solution for recovery, the problem is that it is just not a complete solution for most people. The real solution for recovery is a holistic approach that addresses all aspects of the recovering individual. This is what we might call the creative theory of recovery in action. Finding your way to this solution requires a holistic approach if you want to stop drinking.

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Here are some tips for recovering addicts to engage the creative life in recovery.

What is creation?

Creative recovery is the solution to the problem of “What can I do with myself now that I don’t do drugs and alcohol anymore?”

But before you can engage the newcomer in creative efforts, they have to get through stage one recovery. This means that they have to establish a brief period of sobriety and find their footing before they can really start making progress with creation.

Getting through this first stage of recovery can be accomplished in several different ways. The most effective method of gaining some sober time in early recovery is to use overwhelming force. This means that the recovering drug addict must go above and beyond what they think is necessary in order for them to stay clean. If they are going to AA or NA groups, they should try to go to multiple meetings every day instead of just doing the usual 90 in 90. If the person is considering rehab, they might think about attending a halfway house or a long term facility instead of the usual short stay. This is a brute force approach, and it works pretty good for newcomers who are struggling to stay clean in the first stage of their recovery. If you don’t follow this path, then it will be very difficult for you to remain sober for a long time or even make it past early recovery. Using a brute force approach in early recovery is the best way to insure success.

After an addict has established a few months of clean time, they are ready to transition into the creative life of recovery. What this means is that the person is going to start a brand new life with new goals and new aspirations for themselves that can fill up the void that is left from their drinking and drugging lifestyle. Creation is the method by which someone starts filling their life back up with purpose after the chemicals are removed. It is not a workable solution to simply quit the drugs and alcohol and then try to resume a normal life of some sort. For many newcomers in recovery, there is no baseline of normalcy for them to relate too, and they have to start relearning how to live all over again. This is the power of creation and it is necessary for long term sobriety.

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There are several good reasons to get involved with addiction therapy sessions and I’m going to explain some of them.

The first step is to actually admit that we have a problem and come to grips with the idea that we need some help. Once we have reached that conclusion it is time to take action. At this point I would recommend finding a good therapist. I would recommend that you seek out a therapist that makes you want to open up naturally with them.

Once you have achieved this I would say that in the beginning you should go to drug addiction therapy at least once per week. Make a decision that you are going to stay on schedule and never miss an appointment for your therapy sessions. It will take you a little while to get real comfortable so start slow if you would like, the choice is yours. You might open up with a therapist and share something that has been buried deep inside you for years that really needs to come out.

After you do this then you will experience some level of relief. I would say on your next session to share something bigger. For example, maybe you cheated on your spouse and you never owned up to it to this day.  
After you reveal a secret that has been burning away at you then you will feel some relief, like maybe you are not so bad after all, and then you might be able to face life sober some day. When I was in therapy sessions I was given certain tasks to complete such as opening up at a 12 step meeting that week. I might not do so at the next meeting I had but eventually I would work up the courage to do so. This seems to be true for many recovering addicts and alcoholics.

Anyway I did eventually share at a meeting and this made me feel comfortable and I will never forget the fear that was there. This is the path to success in recovery – we must feel the fear and go through with it anyway.
Once we sober up we are graced with the possibility of staying in recovery and discovering a new way of living. Maybe you would like to improve your career or go back to school, start exercising regularly there is nothing you can not do once you are clean that is within limits. I would urge you to make a firm decision and start working towards this new reality today. So get busy and take a bite out of your addiction.

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If you believe that you have some sort of issue with alcohol then your first course of action is to properly diagnose your problem. What is the true nature of your problem and what is the extent of it? Is your problem really with drinking too much or does your problem really get nasty when you actually stop drinking?

If you tend to drink large amounts but can basically go without booze for long periods of time when you want to, then you are likely just a problem drinker.If you don’t have the ability to walk away from alcohol for long time frames without going nuts about it then you are probably addicted.If you are not sure if you are an alcoholic or if you are a problem drinker, then you should do these trial runs:

1) Have one drink every day for the next six months; never to exceed the amount of one drink per day. No freebies allowed.

2) No drinking allowed, at all, for at least half a year. No exceptions allowed.

If you can do either of these challenges without any problems and without slipping up at all then you are likely not an alcoholic. But if you find yourself struggling with the experiment and actually resenting it then you might be suffering from alcoholism. If you are a problem drinker then you will fail on the first experiment and not be able to control your intake at some point. If you are addicted to alcohol then you will screw up the second trial and be unable to remain sober for the duration without some sort of help involved.

If you decide that you have a drinking problem of some sort then you should ask for help. If you are a true alcoholic then this might involve seeking treatment in a facility with a full detox unit. This is recommended because alcohol withdrawal is extremely dangerous and can actually kill you.

On the other hand, if you have a drinking problem, then you might seek counseling or therapy in some way. This can help you identify if you want to take steps to reduce or stop your alcohol consumption.

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Beating addiction doesn’t happen overnight, it is a process that unfolds over time. Any recovering alcoholic or addict will tell you that overcoming addiction is a process that unfolds before you for the rest of your life. But what exactly does this process entail, and how can we go about pursuing it successfully?

Before you can even try to beat addiction or alcoholism, you must surrender and thus overcome your denial. What exactly does this mean?

It means you have to stop fighting with yourself in terms of trying to control your use. You must not keep giving in to the fantasy that you might some day drink booze like a normal person can without losing control. If you are hanging on to the idea that one day you might be able to control your drinking or drugging and thus use successfully, then you are setting yourself up for failure.

Surrender is not an event (as it is often made out to be in stories) but really more of a process. It just happens suddenly; I don’t really believe that you can make it happen by your own force of will. Most recovering alcoholics would argue that you have to hit bottom first. If you are still having fun with drinking and drugging, then chances are not good that you can surrender to the disease. It is only after going through lots of miserable life experiences with drinking that surrender becomes an option. It is only when the good times end that a struggling alcoholic can consider the scenario of getting sober.

Because addiction attacks a person’s mind, body, and spirit, the solution must also address each of these areas of your life. That is what makes an integrated and holistic recovery program so effective. So many times in recovery I have seen alcoholics devote too much energy to one aspect of recovery and lose their balance in life. This almost always leads to disaster and eventually a return to drinking. Beating an addiction demands a more in-depth approach.

A holistic solution for recovery addresses these issues. You physically abstain from chemicals and start treating your physical body much better. At the same time a successful recovery program will push you to grow spiritually. You’ll also mature emotionally as you repair relationships and also socially as you develop a sober network of friends in recovery.

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Outpatient drug rehab has some limitations. In my own situation, outpatient treatment did not really work as far as my own recovery went. But there are some benefits to it as well, and it seems to work for some.

Outpatient is essentially the day program at a residential treatment facility without actually staying in the facility overnight. In other words, with outpatient treatment, you go from your home to the treatment center each day, and then stay there and attend lectures and groups all day, then come back home at night.

So outpatient is really a step down from staying overnight in an inpatient setting.

Is outpatient treatment effective?

Some people do find success in outpatient drug rehab, but the odds are lower than if they had checked into a residential program. The research seems to back this up.

Are there any benefits to going with outpatient over other forms of treatment?

Sure outpatient treatment is more convenient, because you can go home each night. So it does not disrupt your life as fully as if you were to go stay somewhere inpatient for a few weeks. The overall expense will be much lower, as you don’t have to pay for an inpatient facility to put you up for a few weeks and provide meals.
Some might even be able to continue working while attending outpatient treatment, so there is added convenience there as well.

Who should go to outpatient drug rehab?

Those who have never been to rehab at all in their life might find some success in outpatient, so it could be worthwhile for some to try it. If it works in your situation, this is fantastic. Sobriety is what is critical. Outcomes are what is important.

Alternatively, if you tried outpateint in the past and it did not really work for you, then you might want to open up to other possibilities for treatment. Residential treatment is just one of those possibilities. You might think about trying some AA or NA meetings or perhaps getting into some regular therapy sessions each week. There are many paths to sobriety.

If you fail to stay sober when trying one method of treatment, consider something more intensive the next time you try to get sober. If outpatient leads you to relapse, then consider more intense treatment. If that doesn’t work, try long term treatment. You get the idea.

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