So you want to know how to help an alcoholic without enabling them?
Of course we try our best to assist an alcoholic, but most of the time our help will actually hurt them instead because it does not move them any closer to surrender. So how can we know how to avoid enabling? How do we know when we are genuinely helping someone?
Here are some strategies that might serve you well:
1) Do not give them money – This is an easy rule that cuts right to the chase. Alcoholics need money in order to drink, but you should never give them money, even if they need to feed their children. This can sound really bad for a moment but try to comprehend for a moment how devious and coniving alcoholism can be. They might have already spent their money on booze, knowing that someone would step in and not let their children go hungry. So if you happen to have given them money then instead of helping the family or feeding the kids you are merely supporting an alcohol addiction. Don’t be deceived by this.
2) Suggest treatment but do not threaten or force them – if you try to force the issue this will only create resentment and more drinking. People who are forced or strongly coerced into treatment do not stay sober. They really have to want sobriety in their heart so your best route in most cases is just to notify them that treatment is open to them if they become willing.
3) Consider a formal intervention – think long and hard before doing a formal intervention because there is a chance that it can backfire and strain the relationship even further. That is why this is really a last ditch effort, because sometimes the intervention can make things worse instead of better. On the contrary, going forward with the intervention might be that final push that is necessary to motivate the person to make a lasting change. More likely, an intervention is a step along a path….it might not produce immediate sobriety, but it could be a piece of the puzzle for some people.
